She sat outside the hospital, pushing a stroller with one hand, and holding Jordan's hand with the other. "Keep strong. Keep walking. Keep a straight face. Put on a happy smile when the kids ask. Not a creepy smile, just one so that Jordan doesn't know what happened." Marley thought to herself. She wasn't quite sure what she should do or how to do it, but she knew that she had to keep strong. Marley had never experienced anything like this. She was certain that she could keep going and they wouldn't notice.
Jordan wiggled his fingers in between Marley's and placed his other hand on top of her's. He leaned in and placed his head on her arm. Marley looked down and a tear rolled down her face. "What ya doing bud?" Marley asked.
"I see daddy hold your hand like this all the time." Jordan squeezed his hands tighter. Marley shook her head looking up. She put Addison into her car seat and went to the other side of the SUV and helped Jordan in. Looking at Jordan, she saw the exact resemblance of Brian. She put Jordan in his seat and buckled him in. She leaned in to give him a kiss on the head and he threw his arms around her neck. They both began to cry. She just couldn't stop.
Marley felt a tap on her shoulder, it was her brother Shane. "Here's my keys, go. Get out of here. I got these two." Marley hugged Shane took his keys and jumped into his truck and drove.
She drove for what seemed like days. She ended up at Brian's ranch. She wasted not time saddling up a horse and riding up to Ridge View. Marley felt like she was in robot mode. She couldn't remember the drive to the ranch nor the ride up the ridge. It wasn't until she jumped off the horse unpacked her backpack that had a blanket, bottle of wine, and two glasses. She tied up her horse then walked to the log.
She threw the blanked over her shoulders and poured the wine into the glasses. She raised her glass into the air then clinked it to the other. "Happy anniversary." She said aloud. Then began to cry. She stayed up on the ridge that entire night crying. "Why, what did I do wrong? What did Brian do wrong? Was it all just too perfect? It had to be, no life can be like this Its just all a dream." Marley questioned. She sat up on that ridge overlooking the valley where Brian had his ranch. They went up there every year on their anniversary. Brian would pack the blanket that he always had in his truck on all of their nights spent in the back of his truck starring at the stars. Marley would pour the wine and they would sit up on the ridge and would talk about one of their favorite memories.
Brian would always talk about one of the very first dates and then would finish it off with some comparison to how Marley was now and would make it a joke, but would play it off so slyly she would giggle then Brian would hug her. Marley would, always talk about Brian and the kids. Tonight however, she remembered the first time they went up to this ridge. It was the time Brian asked Marley to marry him. The time he nearly went off the cliff because of how nervous he was to ask someone "out of his league" to marry him. And when Marley jumped up to say "YES YES YES" they both nearly fell off that cliff. But they never seemed to move their log away from the cliff. She remembered Brian being quiet all the way up to the Ridge and how she was certain they were going to break up.
Marley started to laugh, "if you're going to break up with me at least do it over by the cliff so when I get mad I can push you off."
"Well, you're going to need to follow me then." Brian grabbed Marley's had and she followed him to the Cliff, "Marley, you drive me crazy, I drive you bonkers. I can make you laugh, but you leave me smiling for days. I thought I knew happiness then I met you. You flipped my world upside down. You taught me that things can be imperfectly perfect. I'm not going to ask a question. I'm not going to get down on one knee. You're my happy, you're my smile, you're my perfect. I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Marley jumped into his arms, making Brian nearly drop the ring and fall off the cliff.
She sat there all night, just sitting on that log, crying. Going over everything that could have, and should have gone right tonight.
Friday, January 20, 2017
12
Nothing seems to be going like they had planned. Jordan began to shy away from everyone, Marley, Brian and Addison. It was inevitable that it was going to happen. It was going to happen and Marley dreaded the time it began. Somewhere in her perfect little world, she had thought that Jordan was going to love his new baby sister and grow into those big brother shoes and love Addison more than ever. But it just seemed like that was never going to happen.
Jordan went from being the perfect little boy who's little laughter would never leave Marley's and Brian's head. He laughed and laughed all the time, they would joke around about maybe Jordan being "different" and he was. He was the happiest child that they could have ever dreamed of. Jordan was like opening a box of lucky charms and only having the marshmallows being poured into your bowl.
Late one evening Marley rolled over and tugged on Brian's shirt, "hey, are you awake?"
Brian rolled over and muttered, "yeah" he wasn't until now.
"Why does Jordan hate Addison? Will he ever get over it? Why do I feel like the worst parent ever?"
"You're not doing anything wrong. Jordan is just jealous, he will get over it. You're fine, just roll with it. Just keep an eye out for him trying to put a pillow over Addison." he chuckled.
Marley punched Brian in the shoulder. They both laughed. Brian and Marley rolled into each other's arms, Brian squeezed Marley and she let out a laugh. "You're perfect. There's nothing you can do wrong. I definitely think that I am the one that married out of my league. You honestly can't do anything wrong. Kids are kids Jordan will get over it." Brian looked into Marley's green eyes, "You're perfect." He kissed her then threw his arms over Marley and drifted off.
Marley didn't go to sleep that night. She lay awake worrying about what seemed like everything. "Will Addison resent Jordan for not liking her when she first got home? Will Addison even care? Will Jordan ever 'grow' out of this jealousy phase?" Marley crawled out of bed and went down to the kitchen poured her a glass of milk and sat at the counter eating Oreos, her go to snack. 3AM and she just kept stressing herself out. She knew Brian was right and that he always knew what to say. She did marry a very smart man. She didn't want to wait until Jordan grew out of that phase. "What if it takes him years to grow out of it?" She asked herself.
Brian walked up behind Marley sitting at the counter and hugged her. "I'm going to ask you a simple question and I'm going to need you to answer as honestly as you possibly can."
Marley begins to answer, "uh.."
"Remember I am a lawyer and will expose you for the criminal that you are if not answered honestly."
"Okay, just ask the damn question already!" Marley snapped
"Who told you about my Oreo stash, and why are you eating them?!" Brian over exaggerated.
Marley laughed and took 3 Oreos and shoved them into Brian's mouth. "I have my source, and my source is a little 6 year old who is always watching his dad. Especially when his dad has a secret stash of cookies." Brian began to laugh with Marley, He took her by the hand and dragged her into the living room.
He walked over to the stereo, "don't, you'll wake the kids." Marley whispered.
But Brian turned it on anyways, but kept it at a low volume. "My Best Friend" began to plan and Brian walked over to Marley. He took her hands in his, spun her around and pulled her back to him. They began to sway and turn. Brian stared into Marley's eyes and she stared at the Oreo crumbs on his white shirt. Marley began to reach to dust off his shirt, "No, I'm gonna need a snack here in 2 hours before I get up for work." Brian chuckled. Marley laid her head on his chest and began to cry.
"Why do you have to do everything so damn near perfect?" Marley asked."Why can't I feel like I do anything right?" Brian dropped her hands and placed his on her face. He looked into her eyes, "because if you are prefect, even if you don't see it."
Jordan went from being the perfect little boy who's little laughter would never leave Marley's and Brian's head. He laughed and laughed all the time, they would joke around about maybe Jordan being "different" and he was. He was the happiest child that they could have ever dreamed of. Jordan was like opening a box of lucky charms and only having the marshmallows being poured into your bowl.
Late one evening Marley rolled over and tugged on Brian's shirt, "hey, are you awake?"
Brian rolled over and muttered, "yeah" he wasn't until now.
"Why does Jordan hate Addison? Will he ever get over it? Why do I feel like the worst parent ever?"
"You're not doing anything wrong. Jordan is just jealous, he will get over it. You're fine, just roll with it. Just keep an eye out for him trying to put a pillow over Addison." he chuckled.
Marley punched Brian in the shoulder. They both laughed. Brian and Marley rolled into each other's arms, Brian squeezed Marley and she let out a laugh. "You're perfect. There's nothing you can do wrong. I definitely think that I am the one that married out of my league. You honestly can't do anything wrong. Kids are kids Jordan will get over it." Brian looked into Marley's green eyes, "You're perfect." He kissed her then threw his arms over Marley and drifted off.
Marley didn't go to sleep that night. She lay awake worrying about what seemed like everything. "Will Addison resent Jordan for not liking her when she first got home? Will Addison even care? Will Jordan ever 'grow' out of this jealousy phase?" Marley crawled out of bed and went down to the kitchen poured her a glass of milk and sat at the counter eating Oreos, her go to snack. 3AM and she just kept stressing herself out. She knew Brian was right and that he always knew what to say. She did marry a very smart man. She didn't want to wait until Jordan grew out of that phase. "What if it takes him years to grow out of it?" She asked herself.
Brian walked up behind Marley sitting at the counter and hugged her. "I'm going to ask you a simple question and I'm going to need you to answer as honestly as you possibly can."
Marley begins to answer, "uh.."
"Remember I am a lawyer and will expose you for the criminal that you are if not answered honestly."
"Okay, just ask the damn question already!" Marley snapped
"Who told you about my Oreo stash, and why are you eating them?!" Brian over exaggerated.
Marley laughed and took 3 Oreos and shoved them into Brian's mouth. "I have my source, and my source is a little 6 year old who is always watching his dad. Especially when his dad has a secret stash of cookies." Brian began to laugh with Marley, He took her by the hand and dragged her into the living room.
He walked over to the stereo, "don't, you'll wake the kids." Marley whispered.
But Brian turned it on anyways, but kept it at a low volume. "My Best Friend" began to plan and Brian walked over to Marley. He took her hands in his, spun her around and pulled her back to him. They began to sway and turn. Brian stared into Marley's eyes and she stared at the Oreo crumbs on his white shirt. Marley began to reach to dust off his shirt, "No, I'm gonna need a snack here in 2 hours before I get up for work." Brian chuckled. Marley laid her head on his chest and began to cry.
"Why do you have to do everything so damn near perfect?" Marley asked."Why can't I feel like I do anything right?" Brian dropped her hands and placed his on her face. He looked into her eyes, "because if you are prefect, even if you don't see it."
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